Now Playing Tracks

The beginnings of the American Revolution, simplified

  • BRITISH EMPIRE:

    All right, fine, your stupid embargo worked. We won’t levy any more taxes-

  • AMERICAN COLONIES:

    Huzzah! Time to get drunk!

  • BRITISH EMPIRE:

    Except on tea.

  • AMERICAN COLONIES:

    What?

  • BRITISH EMPIRE:

    Get over it, it’s just tea. Seriously, where do you get this idea that you’re special and should never have to pay taxes? We hope that idea doesn’t go on to infect your political discourse centuries from now.

  • AMERICAN COLONIES:

    We’re not buying your stupid tea.

  • BRITISH EMPIRE:

    Are you being serious right now? What are you going to do, just stop drinking tea?

  • AMERICAN COLONIES:

    Yes. We’ll drink coffee.

  • BRITISH EMPIRE:

    Do you even know what that is?

  • AMERICAN COLONIES:

    No, but we’ve heard it’s good and we’re feeling surly.

  • BRITISH EMPIRE:

    Fine, whatever, we don’t even care what you do anymore.

  • BRITISH EAST INDIA COMPANY:

    Actually, we are pretty much bankrupt, so you need to make them drink the tea.

  • BRITISH EMPIRE:

    Oh, for—just drink the tea.

  • AMERICAN COLONIES:

    No.

  • BRITISH EMPIRE:

    Do it.

  • AMERICAN COLONIES:

    NO.

  • BRITISH EMPIRE:

    Drink it.

  • AMERICAN COLONIES:

    Fuck you.

  • BRITISH EMPIRE:

    Drink it or we’ll punch you in the face.

  • AMERICAN COLONIES:

    *Boston Tea Party*

  • BRITISH EMPIRE:

    What the hell?

  • AMERICAN COLONIES:

    We heard it was Indians.

  • BRITISH EMPIRE:

    That’s interesting, because we heard it was a bunch of colonists wearing paint and dressed in costumes that were remarkably similar to what a crowd of drunks who wanted to look like Indians would assemble if the only supplies they had were found in an alley behind a bar.

  • AMERICAN COLONIES:

    You get all types in Boston.

  • BRITISH EMPIRE:

    …*Coercive Acts*

  • AMERICAN COLONIES:

    Oh, it is ON.

60,927 notes

via
  1. rena-librarian reblogged this from heronfem
  2. fudgie-turned-less-of-a-fudgie reblogged this from killingmewassootwoyearsago
  3. now-you-don-t reblogged this from flaming-angelofdeath
  4. youknownothingjohnwatson reblogged this from adelindschade
  5. punk-rock-gutter-whore reblogged this from clockworkwatch
  6. ognianfoglio reblogged this from clockworkwatch
  7. ximajs reblogged this from ellipadd
  8. eleanor57 reblogged this from magicofyouth
  9. magicofyouth reblogged this from jellylovesdoughnuts
  10. opal-empress reblogged this from adelindschade
  11. nothingbutalostgirl reblogged this from adelindschade
  12. adelindschade reblogged this from clockworkwatch
  13. jellylovesdoughnuts reblogged this from clockworkwatch
  14. clockworkwatch reblogged this from deanismydemon
  15. onemorefag reblogged this from joshimdunwithyou
  16. joshimdunwithyou reblogged this from whataboutramonaflowers
  17. lordbayatmortilaufeyson reblogged this from carkidsagainstmajorminus
  18. carkidsagainstmajorminus reblogged this from greenroom07
  19. heronfem reblogged this from novakian
  20. youreamormont reblogged this from novakian
  21. hawiiantiger reblogged this from turnipsntoadstools
  22. cool-conut reblogged this from bridgethughes
  23. thedapperoptimist reblogged this from thingsrobinwillenjoy
  24. bridgethughes reblogged this from partbutterfly
  25. truly-subcontinental reblogged this from keepitsimpleliveit
  26. ks-randomania reblogged this from heylookneatwo
  27. partbutterfly reblogged this from mirrorkeys
  28. colbengton reblogged this from owls1467
  29. thegodthatiskim reblogged this from whisperwhisk
  30. turnipsntoadstools reblogged this from whisperwhisk
We make Tumblr themes